ATB: Thanksgiving Takes Many Forms

In a few more days we will celebrate Thanksgiving with our family and friends.  We've been slowly but surely shopping for the meal that will be shared as 18 of us gather together around the table.  Our traditional Thanksgiving menu usually consists of a large roasted turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, squash, turnip, rolls and pickles.  The cooking is always done by John whose father before him always prepared all the holiday meals. The turkey, stuffing, gravy, and pickles are all recipes that have been passed down in our family.  There's a secret ingredient for the stuffing and gravy which John sometimes will share with others! Other items we sometimes add to our meal include corn, peas, carrots, and/or sweet potatoes.

Tomorrow (Monday) I will begin making the dough for the pies I will bake on Wednesday.  (Speaking of pies, I have just learned our grand daughter Alana will be baking a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving!) I make my pie dough from scratch, separate enough for each individual crust, roll it into a ball, wrap in wax paper and let it chill for a day or so.  Then it's all ready when I begin my bake-athon.  Years ago when my mother in law was alive we would race each other to see who finished their pies first!  We lived next door to each other so I'd call her about 6 a.m. and she'd tell me she already had one pie done which motivated me to get going.  I miss that friendly competition. Typically I bake the following:  apple, mincemeat, squash, pumpkin, cherry, chocolate cream, and pecan.  It usually depends upon how many are joining us for dinner or who may drop by for coffee and dessert later in the day. Another staple for Thanksgiving, also from Nana's recipe box, is Date Nut Bread.  There are many recipes for this however only one of them comes out tasting the same way John's mother's did.  And so far, only one other person can make it that way - our daughter Maryann.  (Although one year her husband made it and no one could tell the difference!) Most everyone in the family has their favorite pie.  Our son's has traditionally been cherry although he will change his mind from time to time.  But again, it was 'Nana' who always baked a cherry pie on Washington's birthday - just for our son growing up. This year he tells me pecan is his favorite.  Cherry pie has also become our son in laws favorite pie.  Speaking of pies, I think we have observed each and every grandchild sticking their finger into their own leftover favorite pie long long after adults have left the table. This has been captured on camera.  I must absolutely have all my baking done during the day on Wednesday. Evening comes and  the kitchen becomes the sole domain of John.

He has his own techniques and methods. Even with all he has to do there are few ways that I am of help once the pies are made.  I will take loaves of bread for stuffing and break them to be just the perfect size then fill the roaster pan with them to dry out in the air.  In the meantime he makes an innovative aluminum foil tent for the turkey. It has to be just right.  I will often do some vegetable prep but even that must be done a certain, perfect way. Mostly I stay out of his way! Before going to bed however our home has already begun to smell like Thanksgiving.  Our turkeys are roasted slower than slow for many, many hours overnight at an extremely low temperature.  I love the way it smells in the morning.  I also love being a taste tester for the Short family secret gravy recipe.  John works diligently to have it taste just perfect and he will not offer me a chance to test it until he's certain it needs nothing more! Sometimes I may DARE to suggest a little more this or a little more that - but mostly it is ALWAYS so delicious - as is the bird, as is the stuffing, as are all the fixings he prepares. 

In the past I have suggested we go to a restaurant or accept an invite at a friends for Thanksgiving dinner - only because I know how very hard John works as he puts his heart and soul into this meal.  But even when there are Thanksgiving dinners when family and friends wish to gather somewhere else, we will always be found together at our own table. We did have one year when that actually happened.  I felt bad for John but he was perfectly happy to simply be where he wanted to be, leftovers and all! I've seen years that he has prepared more than one meal to accommodate others. It's just the way he is. 

Sometimes friends and family will bring a dish or a dessert to share but we never expect them to.  When asked what to bring, we simply say bring yourselves and your appetite! It is not a fancy affair here by any means.  In past years I have gone all the way by making place cards with names and Scripture verses, glowing candles, beautiful tablecloth with matching napkins and rings, had the finest of our special dinnerware, silverware, and glassware. We have sets of dinnerware and serving pieces that belonged to our parents and I am especially proud of an antique serving platter which belonged to my mother and was in her family.  In recent years however John and I have opted for ultra casual, informal, and E-Z clean up and splurged on Chinet plates and paper napkins. Sometimes we simply serve Thanksgiving dinner buffet or cafeteria style!  With 7 grandchildren it does make it a lot easier for everyone that way. We are also blessed to have those with the 'gift' of service. By this I mean, our daughter in law and our niece both are extremely helpful with making sure that the utilitarian aspects of serving a large meal does not create any additional work for us, for John especially. 

Thanksgiving (and most of our meals) always begin by giving thanks and asking God for His blessing.  As the grandchildren grow up it's been meaningful to go around the table and have everyone share one thing they are grateful for. Not to say all the adults all of the time are that agreeable with this, but nevertheless they do it to appease me more than anything.  And I like that.

There's so many jokes and TV shows around that really mock the tradition of a family Thanksgiving meal shared together.  And the history behind the first Thanksgiving is full of holes and inconsistencies that it is easy to understand why some people could care less.  I suppose there was a time in my own life that I looked upon these times with ho-hum, do we HAVE to do this, HAVE to go here or there, do we HAVE to?  And it always reminds me of one particular Thanksgiving.  The one I'll never forget for as long as I live.

My dad died the year I turned 12 years old leaving my mom a widow at the age of 46.  I was too young and naive to even be aware of her grief and mourning the loss of the man she loved, my father. That year as well as those immediately following his death are all blurs as far as I'm concerned and I often coin them all 'the blackest night' but that is another story for another time for it is my Testimony of how I became a Christian.  No, it is that first Thanksgiving without my dad that I always seem to reflect upon.

We didn't talk about it that morning. Didn't even acknowledge it was Thanksgiving.  My mom had cooked a turkey and I watched with interest as she made several sandwiches and packed them up.  Then she announced we were going to go for a ride.  I don't remember any conversation at all.  I do know it was a cold, breezy November day.  We ended up at Old Orchard Beach in Maine, at the pier which was totally abandoned.  We sat in the car together and ate turkey sandwiches.  When we were done we both got out and walked along the shore together, saying little to each other.  I think my brother was still in the service and overseas at the time.  My sister and her family were somewhere else with friends.  It was just my mom and me and a lonely beach on Thanksgiving.  Now looking back I can understand so much about that day.  I can even understand why we went to that particular beach because before my parents married that is one place they always enjoyed going together.  There must have been even deeper meanings to her to want to share Thanksgiving alone together there in that place. And to this day I just respect her decision to handle her grief in her own way that year so long ago.  I also wonder how would I have handled becoming a widow at the age of 46 with a 12 year old daughter.

My mom and my dad rest together in the Lords care as do John's parents. My faith allows me to believe there will come a day... when the circle will be unbroken, by and by Lord, by and by.   I now live in the present moment, very aware of the need for family and friends to mark the years that pass all too quickly through these various holidays and times of celebration.  These are the times of our life and we never really do know from one year to the next what will transpire, what will change, who will be here and who will not.  There is much to be thankful for when we are here and are gathered together, but there is also much to be thankful for when that is not the case.  To love, to be loved, to be able to love, to be able to give love, to know love, to have known love - these are among those things we can always be thankful for. Sometimes this is very difficult, other times gratefulness flows free and easy. 

This Thursday will be just as wonderfully crazy busy as any other home celebrating Thanksgiving together with family and friends.  There will be moments of reflections too for most of us in our own special way, just like my mom had hers that Thanksgiving so long ago. I bet she never thought her actions would impact the way I look at Thanksgiving for a lifetime - but they did, and it is all good.  As our family gathers together to ask the Lords blessing, we are also mindful of the many who are not so fortunate for surely, but by the Grace of God go I.  I will never take what we have for granted. I appreciate what to me, is the richness of our life found in the simpler things.  By the standards of some we have very little.  But I am persuaded we have an abundance, especially when I think of others in need.

It's funny because these days John and I are the family 'matriachs' - oh my!  And we hope that our family and friends know how much they mean to us, how much we love them and care about all that concerns them.  For we do thank God for the many blessings in our life, and especially so on Thanksgiving.  Take care and God bless you always, John and Ann and All Things Brittany