A Breeder's Season of Sadness

Some people may never understand the depth or importance of the human-animal bond. And what I share below is not intended to minimize or even compare to the loss we experience when a beloved HUMAN family member or friend dies.  Neither is it to imply my priorities are out of whack because God is always first in my heart. Even so, I do continue to deeply grieve the deaths of three of our beloved canine crew, Molly, Jack, and Wish and now is the time to write.

My heart lingers in summer, but I know it is fall...

Our first Brittany came into our lives in 1986, our first litter born in 1990 and eventually we became a multiple dog family.  It's been a joyful labor of love to own multiple dogs for many years while developing a purpose driven program of close working gun dogs.  God has truly blessed this work of our hands while weaving the garment of our lives tightly with beautiful threads from the lives of others.  The perfection of His plan or the direction He'd take us could never have been anticipated. All for the love of the dog, both given and received, to His Glory, for His Purposes, and very often also to share the mutual love of the Lord, praying and even being used by Him in the lives of others. We've been proud for all the right reasons to earn more than a few titles and recognition along the way with our Brittanys while keeping Matthew 6:19-21 (the basis for Treasure's name) at the forefront. Not for personal gain or vain glory. But for the Glory of God. Some people won't get that part of it. But a lot of people will. And that's okay! So once again I'm reminded to everything there is a season. And this is going to be a sad read, just sayin'.

Consider the way summer-like temperatures offer brief glimpses at springtime of what awaits a few months later. Consider also how clearly the first falling leaf in early September is a sign of autumn approaching. As owners and breeders of a multiple dog family, likewise John and I have been well aware of subtle changes in our aging, senior Brittanys pointing to an inevitable season of sadness that would eventually fall upon us here at "All Things Brittany." Nothing could have prepared us for though for saying goodbye to three of our beloved dogs over the past few months.

We previously experienced the tragedy of losing a fine young athletic Brittany to the thievery of cancer 10 years ago.  Our daughter and her family likewise experienced this reality several years ago. There have been other Brittanys from our program whose lives were shortened unfairly by this same thief or from an unexpected accident or illness and we have mourned their passing with the families who loved them. Even as recently as this week. For each time we welcomed a pup into the world over the years, there will be or has been a season of mourning. As breeders with a desire to fully invest ourselves somehow in the lives of every pup we are responsible to bring into the world we do see the circle of life.  But we also see God's hand and understand to everything there is a season.  Age is of no consequence as we have closely held a newborn pup to our breast while they took their last breath. And together, our tears have fallen down upon the soft fur of a beloved heart dog as we held them close during 'that' loving and humane act of compassion that ends suffering. It's an immeasureable level of that pain and that grief, one in which recent months I've experienced the depths of in ways impossible to express. I have been shaken to the core. And although the love of God, family, and friends has surely sustained me and carried me it hurts. so. much. 

KJ's Ramblin Molly Rose got her 'angel wings' on July 31, 2017 at the age of 14.  Sweet and funny beautiful and intelligent she did not have a disease or illness, she was simply quite happy living in "Molly's World." With a fully white face, slightly cloudy eyes, and selective hearing she still reverted to crazy puppy spurts from time to time. She started to 'tell us' she was really getting tired. Her muscle tone was poor, her skin was so loose around her body. Molly's appetite started to dwindle and she slept more often than she was awake.  Molly had a few fatty cysts and lumpy places but otherwise was in good shape. She made her message clear one day as we ventured down to our small farm pond, just the two of us.  Molly hadn't tried to climb down over the banking to the water's edge

Sweet Molly Rose - 3/6/03 - 7/17/17

for quite awhile. But this day she insisted. I hadn't climbed down over the banking either since my two knee replacements yet I couldn't take a chance of not being near to Molly in case she needed help. So down I went. She was in a carefree mood with her mind set upon frogging.  One frog was gracious enough to swim right up to her and I was delighted to see her splash the water in front of her in an attempt to catch it. Molly seemed oblivious to how much her antics took out of her physically. As anyone with a Brittany knows, they can be pig headed and she sure was. Molly took off for the far side of the pond away from where I was. As she did I could see she was having trouble dealing with a muddy section. She stumbled and fell down in a few inches of water. Molly couldn't get up on her own and she would have drowned if I hadn't been there. Although the mud made it difficult for me to get to her quickly I was able to reach her.  In a split second and in a flash, her frailty and aging became clear to me as I gently stood her to her feet.  She was scared and quite honestly so was I. By the Grace of God I was able to lift her and get her back up over the banking.  An additional measure of Grace helped me crawl on my knees (ouch) up and over to where she was. Molly took a few steps towards the shade of a nearby tree and then just plopped down in the cool grass.  We stayed there together for quite awhile.  When it was time to head back to the house she wasn't sure.  I turned my back and slowly began to walk away. Not wanting to be left alone, Molly struggled to her feet and slowly but surely followed me.  There were other things going on with Molly, evidenced by her 'stool'.  (Dog people will know what I'm talking about.) Molly's time with us ended with gentle and peaceful assistance here at home to usher her into her eternal rest.  She was ready. Until we meet again Miss Molly, until we meet again.

J&A's Apple Jack of Acton JH, our Jack Dog, our beautiful golden boy entered into his rest on August 18, 2017 at the age of 12.  His death was very unexpected as overall he'd been so healthy. Jack did sustain a field injury to his shoulder a few years ago when he slammed into a hidden tree stump while running full force.  He also had been diagnosed with the tick borne infectious disease Ehrlichiosis which, while he had been treated for that, symptoms sometimes reared their ugly head. 

Beloved Jack Dog 6/13/15 - 8/18/17

Then, during the winter months he had swallowed a piece of rubber which caused a blockage in his intestines.  Emergency surgery was performed and although he recovered, he never seemed to fully    Perhaps all of these things eventually caught up to him. This spring Jack still physically and enthusiastically gave it his all as John daily took the dogs to the training field. Birds were set out for Jack to find, point, and then to retrieve back to John. These two were a beautiful well oiled team, an orchestra  of perfection which always took my breath away to see.  The love between them unlike anything I've ever seen between human and dog. Ever. By June Jack was clearly slowing down.  He's always been a very mellow dog unless there was a 'girl dog' or birds involved. His times in the field were limited to sitting in the truck while John worked all the other dogs. And I felt sad for him as he watched and listened.  A bird would be put out for him to find nearby, he was so very happy. Losing Molly took a lot out of us emotionally, we could barely believe our eyes what we were seeing as July turned into August and Jack was really struggling to walk.  There were repeated vet visits, tests, x-rays, meds, therapeutic massages and exercise.  Jack was preparing us though.  His sleeping habits changed drastically and at night he chose to separate himself from us. Getting up onto the bed was difficult so we bought new orthopedic heated dog cushions and beds for him.  At first he'd stay in them but soon he was wondering around at night. We'd often find he had crated himself in a dark room. It was so sad. Jack lost complete use of his rear legs and also his bladder. John carried Jack outside by the use of a sling/towel. He was immobile in the house. Our vet visited often and we provided our very best supportive care for Jack in every sense of the word. John blocked out his very busy schedule and dedicated every moment of every day to Jack's needs. It was love in action. But we both knew. And so did Jack.  The human and the animal who deeply loved each other had to come to terms with the reality of what was happening. Jack had to convince John it was okay for him to let him go. John had to convince Jack that he didn't have to worry about him after he was gone. On the rainy afternoon of August 18th Jack was humanely released into the loving arms of our Lord Jesus. As surely as the rain poured down, so did those awful tears of grief fall while Jack was laid to rest. The very next morning a gathering of friends and dogs joined us at the training field in a show of support and encouragement. Ironically, we were also burdened with the news that our oldest granddaughter was missing!  Thank God she was found safe and sound later on that day.  How much though Lord, how much can one heart bear?

Birch Springs Wish Upon a Star "WISH".... came into our life at the age of 15 months. I will always remember looking at her and thinking how beautiful she was. Wish had the strongest prey drive of ANY Brittany I have ever known and that is saying a lot.  She made me smile.  Everyone loved Wish.  Unassuming but sweet to a fault.  Tuned into me in ways that were near uncanny.  I remember sitting pondside and closing my eyes, just playing a little mind game with myself.  I would think hard

Loveable Momma Wish - 7/16/03 - 9/18/17

about Wish who was off playing with the pack. As soon as opened my eyes there she'd be, jumping up and wagging her tail. I learned about hunting woodcock with Wish.  I also learned a lot about being a better dog breeder through her. She's Treasure, Jack, and Scooby's mother and great-granddam to many She did live to hunt but she also was an incredible momma dog.  To those who understand such things I say she was the brood bitch every breeder strives to have at least once in a lifetime. Wish never really slowed down and unlike Molly or Jack gave no telltale sign that anything was wrong. Our crew are examined on a regular basis and other than non-cancerous fatty cysts, lumps and bumps that are fairly common in older dogs, Wish was healthy.  Shortly after her 14th birthday which was about the time Molly passed, Wish did begin to show signs of confusion. I had wondered if it could be due in part to missing Molly.  She would seek out places and things that provided shelter, go around and around in a circle while there, and only come out with some gentle persuasion.  Wish still would romp with her 'kids' and grandpups, but stuck closer than a shadow to us at other times. She wasn't eating as much as usual so we provided her with special foods to help sustain her before Wish lost any weight.  One warm and typical September morning when feeding the dogs John noticed Wish wasn't getting out of her bed. He thought maybe she'd died in her sleep. Upon closer observation it was clear she had suffered some kind of stroke. Always the cleanest dog ever she was curled up in her blanket which was soiled and looked up with confused yet trusting and pleading eyes. We kept Wish comfortable until our vet could see her.  And for the third time in as many months we held onto a beloved Brittany as the Lord opened heavens gates for her. We were 

The outpouring of sympathy, love, and support has meant so much to me.  And to John too of course.  We've been blessed through notes, cards, flowers, gifts, and acts of love and kindness. In some ways it has been a good thing that life is usually very busy for us concerning these heartaches.  Times with our family as well as hunt tests, field trials, dog shows, hunting trips and the ever ongoing dog training have kept us from dwelling for too long on all things sad. But every time we play with the dogs in the yard we see the huge void. They feel it too. Oh I could write a lot more about their own reactions to the deaths of their best friends too. When I say ATB 'family' it extends to the very canines that define that expression.  We are developing an informal memorial spot in our yard in the area around a simple tree where the dogs have always enjoyed lying in the shade.  We've never been fancy, neither will this spot be. But it is theirs and there they will be. I have joked previously about how we're running a geriatric ward for Brittanys here.  Somehow it's not so funny anymore to say this. Just last week we had another scare here with our two youngest dogs.  To make a long story short, they were diagnosed with 3 tick borne diseases which nearly debilitated them, even with the use of tick preventative! Now on an aggressive doxycycline therapy program along with other essential care they are improving.  Thank you Lord.

A dear friend sent me a book called "Will I See Fido In Heaven?" We know there are many wonderful warm and fuzzy stories, tales about Rainbow Bridge and others which all bring comfort.  I love them all. But for me there must be a deeper meaning, and I need to see, need to know beyond a shadow of doubt about the death of my Brittanys in relation to what the Bible has to say. I'm a purist in many aspects, and this is true now. Each of the seven times God spoke of his covenant with Noah, he included the animals. This book is relevant Scripturally speaking regarding Gods plan for what is considered the 'lesser, non-human creatures.' After reading this book, researching I am certain indeed "There will be a day. "Please keep us in your prayers.  This is a very hard season on many levels.