Memorial Day, Taps & Forget-Me-Nots

Note: This post was written a year ago and first appeared May 31, 2010.  

Memorial Day, the unofficial start of summer.  Labor Day through today, our neck of the woods is relatively quiet.  All of that will change now.  We are surrounded by a minimum of 13 large lakes and countless ponds.  In the summertime the local population of this rural community triples as summer 'residents' head up to enjoy their beautiful waterfront properties.  Traffic also increases greatly.  Off season, fewer cars pass by our home. John and I have at times counted no more than 4 cars a half an hour.  This is the 3 day holiday weekend families look forward to when they can bring the boat up, open their camps, and enjoy getting out on the lake. This year the weather is absolutely perfect for boating, swimming, barbecues etc.  With the exception of the hazy and smoke filled air that is.  A couple of nights ago I thought I smelled someone's campfire as the breeze coming through the window carried the scent.  This morning I thought surely our neighbors were burning some brush nearby.  When I checked my FaceBook page I learned from my son in law that other people were wondering what was going on as well.  After a quick search I discovered the reason we are experiencing this poor air quality is due to the fires in Northern Quebec.  My eyes and nose are not happy about this at all. Add to that thick layer of pollen dust on my front porch rocking chairs which is evidence of even poorer air quality. This too shall pass.

I celebrated Memorial Day very differently as a child.  It wasn't about cook outs and it wasn't about 3 day weekends.  It did not always fall on a Monday. Memorial Day meant taking a trip to the cemetary with my mother, cleaning debris from the place where my father rests, bringing the plants and geraniums that she had cared for over the winter, and planting them around his headstone. It was about me planting 'Forget Me Not' flowers there.  It was a very serious, somber time.  We checked to be sure that the American Legion had faithfully put an American Flag in the wrought iron holder to honor all the veterans buried there.  My father was one of them.  Memorial Day also always meant driving over to Portsmouth, NH to stand on Richards Avenue and watch the parade go by.  Usually there was some member of our family marching in it.  A few times I proudly marched by while the camera snapped away, taking pictures of me first as a Brownie, then a Girl Scout, and eventually as a member of the Portsmouth Clipper Band.  There was on instant gratification of seeing the photos right away.  The film itself had to be delievered to the camera store, and we had to wait for several days for it to develop.  And waiting for those photos was always exciting to me! I have black and white photos of my brother now deceased, marching in the Drum and Bugle Corp.  And photos of my sisters kids marching thru the years too. In later years, after John and I got married - the tradition continued in his hometown too, when our own children marched in the Memorial Day parades; Brownies, Cub Scouts, Baseball Teams etc. 

Once the Memorial Day parade passed by our family would follow it into the historic, expansive South End cemetary, and find a shady spot under a huge maple tree to stand or sit.  Each group participating in the parade would stand at attention around the small pond in the middle. Flags blowing in the wind, Veterans of Foreign Wars standing proudly, hats removed, and the local clergy delivering a message. The Daughters of the American Revolution stood soberly among the participants. Each person placed their right hand over their heart and the crowd recited in one accord the Pledge of Allegiance. ( Each person.)  Everyone bowed their heads respectfully and prayed the Lord's Prayer in unison without issue. (Everyone.)  One of my most treasured memories of 'celebrating' Memorial Day is in the way this service closed. 

Throughout the expansive cemetary uniformed Buglers stood waiting.  A 21 gun-salute was fired off over the pond.  Placed strategically and discreetly, unless you knew what was about  to happen you would not have noticed them.  At a specific point in the program, the first Bugler standing closest to the officials raised his instrument and began to play the first part of "Taps".   The next Bugler, positioned farther away, picked up where the first one had left off.  And on it went until the closing notes were played way in the distance, echoing on the wind, for all to hear. To write about that here and now, evokes for me the impact and the true meaning of what Memorial Day 'is'. 

For me, the barbecues and the three day weekends to kick off summer never quite had the same effect. Even with growing up on a beach.  I wonder now as I look back if our children understood why it was such a solemn celebration to me.  But in later years our family did use the weekend as an excuse to open the pool up, and invite our friends over for a cookout in the afternoon following the parade. 

Now the task remains each year for John and I to go the gravesites of our parents - none of whom are living. We usually do this together but in reverence and quietness.  Sometimes when I plant the "Forget Me Nots' on my dad's grave I have a real difficult time. It helps to remind me though how short life really is and how important it is not to say meanspirited things to the people you love.  Sometimes you don't get a chance to tell them you didn't mean it.  I think my dad understood the importance of respect and honor between parent and child and intended to get a point across to me about it once.  I was really young and was acting up, being fresh and rude.  I don't know what I said but it must have really been awful.  I do remember what he said back though:  "Ann, I'm your father and it is wrong to speak to me that way. Someday you'll be going to the cemetary to put flowers on my grave."   He made his point because I ran into his arms crying and asking him to forgive me.  Planting "Forget Me Nots" reminds me of many things, including the power of forgiveness.  Take care and God Bless you and yours this Memorial Day 2010.  John, Ann and All Things Brittany

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